Only 2 words and last 3 coins

Two words, LETS GO, COME ON, WHAT TIME, WHICH ONE, NOT LAWT, ONLY R100. Mention the word Casino to some members in my family then sit back and listen as everybody gets involved in this discussion. Don’t worry I will not mention any names Mala. This is one of the best subjects you will ever discuss with us. Point blank, my members are hooked boy.

Recently we were sitting in my lounge and the conversation turned to casinos, my mother was asleep on the sofa and immediately got up, my father put his shoes on no questions asked, Nunu, Nerinee and my wife was grinning from ear to ear and Mala was ever ready. These guys started discussing their favourite machines and they even know exactly what the combination payouts are and to confirm the addiction, whilst they are in the casino conversation these members start humming the jackpot tunes. We then leave for the casino. Everybody is happy and in a hurry. Someone that’s very close to us always says, ‘when we get there lets have coffee first and then walk around’ Ja right, as soon as we hit the escalator everybody disappears for hours. Eventually after an hour or two you see a familiar face, note that this face is not as smiley as when we first got in. Then they ask you the question. Hit anything? or better still Blew your bobs?

Another grand scene is when somebody hits a bonus feature, and let them get anything in the lower values, my God, the language used then and there is shocking. If the Gora understood Hindi, well that’s another story. I also see some members playing not one BUT a whole line of machines one time like piano players. Then finally after arriving there at 8pm and now it’s 5am, it’s time to go home. Once you start to go around gathering all the players you notice the sad face, like they just got a call saying that their Naanie passed on. From the time we walk out of the casino to the time we reach home, there’s only two words mentioned. NO TUNES, CHUP CHARP, GHAAR BHUNDH, GHAR CHAL and my Fathers favourite KHOOB DHALAS and Nunu’s favourite NOT GOOD.

Activate your Bluetooth

When I claar my matric, I want to come to Jozzies and find a graaf. 99,9% of words uttered from a lietie in matric. My ma and ballie chooned I must vye stay with my auntie in Lenz and soek a graaf.

So the lieteie claars school and obtains an almost scraping pass in matric and moves up to Jozzies in search of a decent job. I have seen many of these in my past experiences. And thumbs up if he finds a cousins friend who is in recruitment. So can I send you my C.V.? You know those C.V’s with fancy graphics on the front cover and difficult to read fonts? Curriculum Vitae of Ronesh Sivasunker Mahabeer a.k.a Ron, and a one pager about Ron. No employment history, and if he has any employment history, it is from his uncles factory where he worked as a Factory Manager. Come on admit it! You have seen this right?

We have all come up the hard way in search of the light, ask Wesley, he is still looking for the light.These lieties nowadays have it on the plate. Look at my nephew, bloody fine example, father gave him nice car, mother gives him clothes and money auntie organised him the job. What else this fool needs? What is short for him and he writes off his father’s merc.

The problem with these fellas is that they were born with the silver spoon in their mouth. They have not experienced the difficulties in finding their feet here in JHB. I am sure if they had experienced what we have been through, then they would be back with mom and dad. These dudes need to learn about the responsibilities in life.

But no, they do not want to hear about that. Their responsibilities are buying PS2 games, fancy clothes and sooping up their rides, that’s what they call it these days ‘Rides’ you know ‘Pimp my ride’ Check I got a picture of it on my N73…i phone with a 2gig memory card, 2 megapixel camera, 500 contacts on MixIt, MP3 player, Ashwariya Rai background and you can put the phone on silent when your mother calls. Activate your Bluetooth I will send you the picture of my ride.

Fellas, all I say is, that you guys are blessed, blessed that somewhere down the family chain somebody made your life a whole lot easier here in JHB. So the next time you at a braai with some folk and here them talking about their lives when they first moved up to JHB, activate your Bluetooth and connect to think what it would have been like if you had no backbone here in JHB. Now go pour a shot for us.

Let’s pop the boot

No matter what anyone can choon, you got to love the charou. He has made his place in society.I mean we have become so popular even the wet ou’s try to talk like us. Why is that we are so lovable? It is a simple answer, we love to socialise with the bottle. Although you might not understand what we are saying under the affluence of incohol, still we love to choon.

When we vye to a wedding jol and you meet a couple of maams, at first these couzies are so quiet and reserved. We start chooning about our likes; the charous best like is fishing, fishing for shad. Because the interest is there the topic is then moved to the car boot and we pull out a bottle (no matter what dop it is) it is always referred to as a bottle. After the first sip we try and find out how we related. Soon we are on to the 2nd, 3rd shot and then we start hearing the chalisa’s, you would never say that this is the same maam you met 30 minutes ago.

The first story starts as how he over did it at the last function. And the usual complains will follow. How his vrou (dragon) reacted to the whole thing but he also concludes by saying that he does not drink as much as he used to. You know what I am talking about? Those days stories…

Anyways I think we charous take out the best in ourselves when we have one two shots, those shots that you pour half glass vodka a.k.a whites and you use water to tint it. When last have we experienced a lukker wedding jol (ou’s from Durbs excluded) including the dholl in the polystyrene cup and then later singing the traditional Indian song ‘Yeh Dhosthi?’

Do you remember, for those fortunate ones when your father used to stop over at a hotel for a shot? And your mother will be sitting in the front seat fuming, using all the words available in the charous dictionary (goolam chod, maadhar, dhogloo, bhosraa). After half an hour, your father will send 3 boiled eggs to the car with some salt. I always like to ask, did your mother eat the egg? You know nice to ask.

So for those that have moved up to Jo’burg and changed like you cross bred between Cape Coloured and a Vallie, Do not forget your roots. If you eating beans curry on a Tuesday and feasting with Gori & beans on a Saturday and buying your masala and brooms in Bangladesh market then I am sure you qualified to pop the boot.

Make it happen…….Pop the boot, I will fetch the polystyrene cups and dholl to line the stomach.

Which way?

Why is it that religion is still a major contributing factor when it comes down to mariage. I was recently in a conversation with some people and the point was that the parrents will not accept a Christian girl marrying a Tamil boy or a Hindu girl marryng a Tamil boy.

I fully understand the reason behind cross beliefs and the way forward, meaning which direction does the wind blow. Which upbringing will the kids follow? My answer to this is simply that we are Generation X. Race, colour, religion has been abolished in Gen X just like appartheid, this is a distant memory.

Somebody I know a white male married a ‘bread’ chick. I have seen these people at a family functions, and I must say that this dude was confused, lost, mesmerised by what was happening around him. Was he enjoying himself? Hell yes. Was he out of place? Hell no. Were the girl’s parrents feeling out of place? Hell yes. So I asked myself why. Why does the old folk always bring this up? Is the religion factor more important than the couples happiness and compatibility?I think that the problem is more about ‘What the family will say about this’. Will this become the latest gossip in the family? “You saw that girl how she was carring on with the white fella, no shame they got’ I wonder if those gossipers saw the couples happiness.

I guess that this will always be an oppened ended discussion. We will never have a solution to this problem.

Over the past few years our cultural differences have combined and our daily interaction with cross cultures has increased all over the world. It is almost impossible NOT to fall in love with somebody out of your cultural habitat.

My 2c worth is that religion is in your heart, it is part of your upbringing just like your parents they are part of your upbringing. You cannot remove this, but rather move forward with it. And for thos that are faced with this situation my advice will be to sit back and ask yourself, What do you want?Are you going to find that happiness, stability and most importantly Do you find a FRIEND in your partner? Now ask yourself, should I wear a mangalsutra or a thali?

Day out with my boat

I recently bought a semi rigid rubber duck and took my toy out to Harties over the weekend. At first I thought it was quite simple to fire this thing up and go BUT after launching I got into the boat with the helpful hands of Clinton. Soon we were in the middle of the dam, for some strange reason the boat refused to start and we drifted about 1km into the dam.

Thanks to a very helpful family, who assisted in towing us back to shore and helped us get the boat started. Thanks to the previous owner of the boat. The guy forgot to give me the fuel plug for the boat. Anyway within 30 minutes we were back in the water.

Man! this boat is a rocker. The power and ride is awesome. Soon I was the boat skipper taking my couzies on a ride.

Apparently, one of my soon to be brother inlaw, Wesley. He saw a shark in the water and got terified. Luckily Don….yes Don was there to comfort him.

Looking forward to the next trip. By the way Asina’s akne and Wes’s trotters and beans was lukker.