Author – Unknown
You say ‘kasam’ when someone doesn’t immediately believe what you just said. Worked well at school and at family functions, but in our rainbow nation, you need to translate it for your gora or kariya boss
You believe someone only when they ‘kasam’*(even if they cheating in thunee).
You believe the red string around your wrist will protect you even in a hurricane.
You’re dead scared to drive your car without the religious license sticker or an idol of any ‘Bhagwan’.
The first thing you do after buying a car is to go to the (pre-selected) temple for car prayers.
You’re dead scared to drive your new car without having done the prayers first*forget the fact you don’t have insurance. Pooja is powerful
You believe that the drive from the temple back home is the safest thing …as you’ve just newly prayed. Again, forget the part about insurance. Chaar ous know it all.
You recite a million and one prayers in Sanskrit*without knowing what it actually means.
You believe that after any pooja, if you refuse any parsad offered to you, the respective deva/devi is gonna zap you with a lightning bolt for insulting them. You then take a very, very, very, very small piece (or a pinch of panjhari) saying you want everyone to have a piece, but in fact you don’t want it.
Same goes for diabetics. Forget the fact that the jalebi is soaked in syrup. Its parsad J. Bhagwan will control your sugar automatically.
God help a black cat if it crosses your path when driving (hmm*what if you’ve just done car prayers? Does it vanquish the cat’s powers??).
And never mind all Indians have black hair. (Is that why people dye it so much these days??)
You were told not to call small kids names like maddy, stupid, pagla, etc. because they’ll really become that when they grow up. It’s all about najar.
You believe using kajal can vanquish najar.
You believe if someone looks at your food while you eating, your stomach will pain after that.
You were told by your parents and relatives not to let babies look in the mirror because they’ll get crooked teeth.
Eclipses are the Indian version of a close encounter with Armageddon.
You don’t come out of the house or accept visitors during it. Worse still if you’re pregnant, you’re strictly forbidden from cutting anything as then your baby will be born with a cleft lip.
At midnight, every night, if you’re awake (god forbid) you don’t do anything because it’s the most evil part of the night. You don’t go anywhere, especially outside. You tie your hair up if its long, as the ghosts can’t get into it then. Don’t move, don’t eat, don’t drink*don’t even breathe……..
Joburg Charou :: Thitha Thitha Choones 