A Charou’s Flight

This is your captain speaking ava hear, Pratash Ravjee, but my friends call me Pratash for short. For those of you that dont know me I am from the banks, Merebank. I knor this flight was suppose to take off 30 minutes ago, but please hold tight cos I am just waiting for Ambi aunty to bring one parcel for her son in JoBurg.

We flying high today ekse, this boeing got it all plus yesterday we put couple more subs in the back there, bass in your base aunties. Flying time to JoBurg is only 45minutes, but after puting this bigger turbo we gonna fly there in 20 minutes flat. Aunties and uncles if yawl got pressure problems and all, take the tablets now cos this captain is not stopping right.

To all the cake laaities whos BBM’ing the stekkies, switch those phones off right and sit tight. To all the lukker cherries on this flight, hook up with me on Facebook, look for JoBurg Charou, after all I am a pilot right.

I now hand you over to my air hostess Kumeshni also known as Kumsi-girl from Parlock. Ladies & Gentlemen this is your airhostess Kumeshni, I dunno why that rubbish Captain Pratash telling everybody my house name Kumsi-Girl, I will jamal him on this flight then he will come right.

In your seat pockets you will find one instruction card, these cards are sponsored by Raj Printers in Verulam, they make so nice weddings card ey. Tell them I reffered yawl, he will give nice price then.

Please use that seat belt otherwise this man will get one fit, he is such an irritating Captain, only nag nag and stay. In the event of us crashing inside the ocean, yawl mus use this nice Jacket, sponsored by Ginger Bagwandeen & Sons they also do blouse alterations…

To eat today we have some nice mutton biryani with dholl and salad and for those breadou’s dont worry ey, we knor yawl people fasting we have fresh yellow potato roti roll made by The Mistress of Spice. We stopped serving Mainstay on this plane because last time that Selva uncle drank so much and he started telling everybody his house problems, but if you really want to drink go to seat 36F, Saras aunty got one small shebeen there.

To all those old old uncles and aunties, please dont run and go toilet 100 times, try and hold it in. All the aunties who gort big big bags I knor yawl carrying fresh fresh mango pickle in you bag, whatever happens dont let that oil leak otherwise this man will die. yawl all knor how irritating this men get.

Okay bye now I am gonna go rush and prepare and also have to go check in on Facebook before we leave.

Ey Hasina…..make sure all the doors are locked tight eh, please. remember what happen last time ma.

Enjoy your flight 🙂

JoBurg Charou

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