Masala marinated chops from United, Extra HOT sausages from Bluff meats, and the all time favorite bake beans salad with extra onion, chillies and dhania, egg and mayo and the previous nights left over mince curry. Summer is around the corner, time to put on the shorts, charge the camera and go to a connections possie for a South African Indian Braai.
Oh yes the most important part of the braai….Cold beer for the boys and some Savannah Dry for the women don’t forget the Tequilla and Apple sours (cos this will make you talk extra and make you brave to go casino later).
Ladies time to straighten your hair with the GHD, guys go to Fordsburg for a 30 bucks haircut and whilst you there get some latest remixed tunes to show it off later until one connection asks for a copy of the CD.
This is the time to catch up with the latest gossip…women yawl have been in the dark too long. Lots of pictures have been posted on Facebook…..time to gossip about it. Guys this is the best time to get drunk talk loud and make fishing plans with the guys….which never happens.
Ladies don’t forget your mother-inlaws sitting in the lounge catching up on Bold and Beautiful but her ears are in your conversations. She will pick on it later be careful. That witch hears everything.
Husbands if you was misbehaving with your friends drinking, every night with your saglaams. Don’t worry your wife will tell everybody about it at the braai. The worst will come out but don’t worry God is great.
To all the cake laaities, this is the time to show off the muscles wear the vest…..BUT uncles with big stomachs and hairy armpits…yawl don’t need to show off anything please. Laaities this is the time to make those funny hand signs, take one two peechas and post it on Facebook, tag the whole family.
To all the girls, this is not the night to tell your parents about the boyfriend. Rather hide it for now. Hide and show your connections his BBM messages.
Dance with your short shorts on the grass like you in the movies….why not Sharukh Khan did it, you can as well. Aunties don’t feel shy to wear black underwear and white dress, only house people there. Hit one two chutney numbers in the mix.
Hold your wife and sing a porridge number for her. Love is in the air. Chops is on the braai.
Boys DO NOT post pictures of your ballie dancing in his shorts on Facebook…not right that. Guys who bought that fancy cars in winter, time to show it off, make sure its boning.
Oh yes lastly guys, don’t arg when you drunk…let the wife drive, otherwise this will be her first and last time she is going anywhere wid you…..you know that story. And don’t cause speeches with family members for nothing.
To all those who’s going copy this and send it via email…at least put my blog address https://jhbcharou.wordpress.com
Don’t forget to put all the sauces, salad and two sausages in a roll and open your mouth for a big bite and someone will take a picture guaranteed.
Till later
JoBurg Charou.
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Joburg Charou :: Thitha Thitha Choones 