A quick fishing trip

“Gents let’s vye South Coast this weekend, I hear the shad is happening ekse, coming out in shoals, big ous ekse. Swear on my ma cuzz.”

So that’s the start to planning a wicked fishing trip. The one bright spark will start calling all the bras to put together the fishing trip.

Telephone Conversation…

Wesley: Watkind Vishal. Long time nor smell, where you bathing now ekse?
Vishal: Ey, I am hectically busy bra…
Wesley: you busy or your vrou keeping you in the possie like win parrot in the cage….hehehe
Wesley: See yeh, all the bra’s vying fishing South Coast this weekend, came way let’s vye murder the shad there maams.
Vishal: Haaibo the shad is coming out wild Wes?
Wesley: Knor not sardine run this dad, it’s not coming out on the shore we have to catch it larnie.

So the group is eventually put together, one nice chalet is booked (booked and paid for 4 but 10 ous rock up there, why pay and make these wit ous rich. The number one item is the Dop 1 case brandy, 4 x 2lt coke, 1 carton Peter Stuyvesant Red. Oh yes and about 4 cases black label for the road.

The other main thing when vying fishing, is chows. The evening when you get there is always a lurker braai with extra hot mutton sausages from Bluff Meats, the bake beans salad and one ous ma has to make phutu and chutney. The morning rush after the shad is either tinfish with loaded chillies or bake beans and eggs on the skottle.
(at this point I would like to ask, how is it that we always forget the key for the cadac or there is no gas in the cylinder….typical”

There are always two types of ous that vye fishing, the first ou will slaan his best clothes, Soviet jeans, Pringle shirt, puma shoes and not forgetting that gold chain and bracelet. Then on the other hand you get the ou who will slaan an old blue overall with a monkey cap whole weekend.

The most common lines on a Charous fishing trip are..

1. Pour a shot maams, my throat is dry
2. El ekse the first shad you catch there is mine, my ma keeping the puli ready for the fish curry
3. The last time I came here ay, I lost a mother size shad easy about one 10 kilos, choon them Dino.
4. Ay, me I don’t want to catch papa fish, I want to cast deep sea for the mother and father fish ekse.

The last question always kills me…..

Oh damn we forgot to buy bait.

Tight lines
Joburg Charou

Merebank Charous are SHARP

 

Pwi...The Hot Gujji

 

 

 

 Just to prove things right, right. I asked this Charou to show us how good the owens from Merebank are. Cos I am always hearing that all the Sharp Charous live in the ‘Banks’.

 

 

The following intelligent maths questions was asked’

What is a:

Hypotenuse: A big, fat animal that lives in the rivers of Africa

Equilateral: A line that runs around the middle of the world

Octagon:  Ocean Basket makes calamari out of this

Algebra: New bra for stekkies 

Obtuse angle: obvious angle to use you phone camera 

Acute triangle:  also known as a samoosa

Prime Number:  A hot chick

Pythagorean Theorem: A type of snake

Radius: also known as my district  

Bisect: A man or woman who is attracted to both men and women 

Common Denominator: that ou who is always causing a speech

Polyhedron: A girls’ name.

Trapezoid: That article we jump on in the park 

Tessellation: Putting white paper on the tressel at a wedding Jol

Theorem: Manogran’s bru X and Y Axes: A shop in the mall selling Soviets and Levis  

Ey man these owens are too sharp

Sharp Sharp 

JHB Charou

(Copywright)

Where did our CHAAL come from…

Some of my family member’s vyed to the mother land recently…Not Durban, I am chooning about India. So when they returned I was inspecting the photos and all just to check and make sure they did not vye to one studio and put some backgrounds and lied they vyed over the seas.
Anyways all the photos was genuine…I mean for a Charou to have genuine stuff, thats another story.

Something really struck me whilst eyeing these photo’s (my cuzzie connected me on my head and chooned hurry up there), Seriously now looking at these photo’s I questioned, How are these Charous so different from us? Our origins are the same.

Looking at these pics I noticed, that our connections in India: 

·         They don’t have Gold Slits in their mouths

·         No gozzies on their heads

·         No Pringle and Soviet Shirts in sight

·         Gold is cheap in India, but they wear thin bracelets on their hands

·         Their vrou’s are doing all the hard graaf (big misshap happened on the Ship journey here,   something went wrong)

·         No hotted up cabs and taxis with Rockford Fosgate graphics

·         No doping Pagla Pani from their car boots

·         No Pictures of Rajbansi and Ramesh Hassen (Joke)

·         No Thitha thitha Mutton Curry

·         Don’t see anybody buying LIVE Fowl

·         No Speeches on the street (No one getting one capsizing  blow on the street)

·         No one eating Bunny Chow on the Capri bonnet

·         They not selling Narend  Singhs  DVD (Another Joke)

 So how did all this change happen here in SA? How have we become so different?
Well the main question is ARE WE CHAROUS or as AHIMSA put it some time ago
CHAROUS WITH ATTITUDE?

 

Whichever way I am glad I am here, I mean just imagine how boring it would be otherwise? I mean the Wit o’s will have nobody to act like them. The pouridge o’s will no longer have Bread’os as role models. Ashwin Desai will be out of a job. Rajbansi will have to move out of Chatsworth.

 N E ways enough of this story. Catch you later 

Don’t Drink and Drive…..Cos your wife will choon the whole family all your house problems

JHB Charou

CHAAL means BREED….For all the pouridge’os who don’t know the lingo.